Travelling through uncertainty, rather than avoiding it, can turn an uncomfortable and stressful situation into a positive and motivational experience.
Uncertainty or the lack of certainty is something my candidates struggle with, am I going to be good enough? Will anyone want me? what is the name of what I want to do? etc
These are all very valid and sentiments that can stop you dead in your tracks but what our soul might say is:
It’s Scary But ….
Feel the excitement of ‘what if’, let it roll around on your tongue and in your head until it reaches your heart.
What if ….. it all works out brilliantly.
What then? What would people say about me and what advice would I give back.
Examine your uncertainties and work with them, let them guide you to an understanding of the problem so you can mitigate the concerns or just let them go their own way with gratitude. They have – until now – kept you safe, but now is time to take a different road.
It’s Worth It
You are not wrong, it is very scary taking the steps to leave the well-trodden path.
However, it is in the unkempt wilderness that the wildflower meadow hides.
The life sustaining diversity of rugged beauty and acceptance is an everchanging landscape that is sometimes terrifying in its stark lines and sometimes the most wonderful, awe-inspiring and heart-stoppingly beautiful place you have ever been.
So you have to ask yourself what you really want.
The known or the different?
Trial by Trail
I’m reminded of a friend who was walking the Inca Trail with me, even though we both knew she had a fear of heights.
We felt it would be fine and that she could just hug the inside edge of any paths that were close to the edge, and I would walk outside her, closest to the drop.
Well, her determination and purpose were tested before we had even started because to get onto the trail, we had to cross a deep gorge by walking over a rickety looking rope bridge with a wooden slatted bottom (in her mind this was Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom territory).
Her desire for what was on the other side meant we had to find a way (as a coach I never ask ‘can you’ but rather ‘how can you’).
Eventually she held onto my rucksack and walked behind me with her eyes shut. Trusting in me and keeping in mind her end goal kept her going even when there were obstacles from the very beginning.
Tactics
Another important tactic for both of us was having an agreement that if one gave up or couldn’t go on the other would stay with them – so we became completely accountable to each other.
This is a great tip for some people – I personally work best in partnership with others. For other personalities, keeping it to themselves is best. It just shows that you really need to be aware of what you need in order to support yourself.
There were going to be uncertainties around every corner, but we had a strategy and supported each other – I also had my own physical challenges that she helped me with.
Learn From the Journey
One of my many lessons from this was to go with the unexpected and when the only possibly way is forward then you will find ways to overcome almost every problem- and it is knowing why you are doing it that keeps you going.
Knowing your Why? provides the bone deep desire to move forward and find the adventure, to step onto the path and explore the unknown, that propels you forward.
We didn’t know for certain that we would be up to the challenge. There were lots of dire warnings about the physical difficulties and lack of oxygen.
The fact that many of the other people were a lot younger and fitter was somewhat daunting too, but we both had a vision, a burning desire to walk around Machu Pichu and connect with the life that had gone before, the spirituality and beauty of nature.
Plan What You Can and then Just Do It
We planned and discussed as many eventualities as we could think of, but uncertainty was with us every step of the way which heightened our awareness and made us grateful for each success.
The vision at the end was what drove us, but the magnificence of the journey, the spectacular scenery, the burning muscles, the hot drinks and the unfailing support of our amazing guide, fed that vision and sustained us more than we could have imagined.
Looking back, it was the beauty of the journey that I remember just as vividly as the arrival at the site.
Let it go
It would be quite easy to hold onto the memory of all the trials and tribulations: exhaustion, nausea, lack of oxygen, headaches etc, but by doing that I only give substance and energy to current doubts and make if far less likely that I will undertake another adventure.
Now I let go of the problems as they are overcome, they are lessons along the way and sometimes things to be proud of, to laugh about and to take courage from, but mostly I cherish the unexpected friendships and camaraderie made along the way.
I felt completely insignificant in the face of the total majesty of our surroundings and gained a completely new perspective on myself; I could feel a bond with almost complete strangers and then – the stunning ruins themselves.
The trek illustrated so many facets of the human spirit and created a determination in me to try to live up to the potential that people before had shown.
Dark Accentuates Light
Were there disappointments? Of course (for me I love solitude but visiting the site meant we got there at the same time as a lot of other people). I learned that I could have visited earlier but then I would have missed the journey.
Another time I might want to compromise on part of the journey and choose the outcome in preference to the journeying, but then I really wouldn’t have stepped off the path at all – just pretended to.
And the thing about the unknown is that it doesn’t stay that way if you venture into it, your perspective changes, you see things differently, you understand yourself better as well as finding guides and friendships along the way. Treading the unknown path often means you find out that so much more is possible.
A Positive Mindset Helps
If you think of uncertainty and are plagued with inner monologues that keep bringing to mind negative memories from a past experience, or future expectations because of past problems, put aside the negative and remember that there would also have been beauty and growth.
You just have to remember to look for it. Think of the words of support you have received, the courage you showed, your determination and pride in getting through whatever it was.
How you managed to maintain resilience and perspective.
Perhaps you took a day away from the situation and had a wonderful time to recharge your batteries or you shared some laughter that was a balm for the negativity surrounding you otherwise.
ABOVE ALL consider that the legacy of all the previous unknowns that have stopped you have, in effect, brought you to this point now.
Maybe you are ready to take that different path now!
See article on New Year’s Resolutions
So, in the words of Monty Python ‘Always look on the bright side of life!’, it really will help you decide which direction to take.
If you are stuck and would like to talk about making a change in your career or your life click here and fill in your details, I will contact you so we discuss whether I could help you.
Thanks.