How to make your New Year’s Resolution count.
The concept of New Year’s Resolution has been around for eons. Before the advent of our current calendars people used to celebrate at times bound by agricultural and astronomical events and would probably have celebrated the first new moon after the Spring Equinox.
There is no particular need for your New Year’s Resolution to start on 1 January, it has just become tied up with our calendar system.
Here in the west, even if you are not a practitioner of any religion it is likely that you are also influenced strongly by Christmas because it is hard to avoid, and with all the frenetic activity that can be associated with Christmas the first day of the year can suddenly be here with us completely unprepared.
So the first day of the new year has become something of a marker and can either be used to power our intentions and get us to take action, or, if we are not ready, give us the excuse to fail before we have even started!
Why Bother?
Just imagine what it might have been like before our lives were revolutionised by technology. The winter months would have been long cold nights and short days full of story-telling, contemplation, wondering how long the stock of food would have to last, making and mending if materials were available, praying to personal deities for a good year to come, and planning for what needed to be done to prosper in the new year.
Although, for most of us, our live are completely different, we still have the innate pull to plan changes and improvements that will aim start on 1st January, our New Year’s Resolutions.
There are great reasons to continue doing this, clear resolution can:
- stop us from becoming complacent and stagnant
- encourage us to take ownership for the direction of our lives
- help us focus on areas for personal and professional growth
In other words, it is a great time to remember to set important goals.
Another benefit of this annual practice is that we have a tendency to be impatient, wanting to see results over night. I can personally corroborate the maxim that ‘we tend to overestimate what we can do in a week or a month, but underestimate what we can achieve in a year’. Giving ourselves longer-term goals will help make them more meaningful and exciting and you will be more likely to achieve them.
So, make this New Year’s Resolution count.
What might stop you?
You are too busy
Not taking time, or giving yourself the space, to think about things properly
Whether positive or not, Christmas being often a stressful time, for some full of parties and celebrations, for other full of struggling to make ends meet. My experience is of having my head full of planning for food, presents, finances, and contingencies because of course, I have the mental expectation that I ‘should’ be prepared for everything!
You are too focused on your present day
If you are a highly social soul, you may love everything about December, but it is widely reported that people can find any holiday period stressful because they are spending far longer than normal surrounded by people. I certainly know I usually look forward to when all the festivities are over and my life can go back to ‘normal’.
Being surrounded by people and sometimes being reminded of personal discomfort and dissatisfaction with relationships or group expectations can lead to a false focus on what you want to change.
You are using generic categories to name your goals
How often have you sat down on New Year’s Eve and given yourself about 10 minutes to think about your resolutions? I bet there are some generic thoughts about getting fit, stopping something like smoking, maybe learning a new language …..!
Hands up, go on – is this you?
So, why do we do it – the fact is that there are many easy labels to use when we think about resolutions. These have almost become bound up with what we think we should aim to do, i.e. get fit, lose weight, ‘become’ a couple, ‘get’ promotion, learn something new …… the list goes on. So we choose the easily identified category of goals rather than truly personal and meaningful ones.
You are not truly connected to your goals
Without enough thought, our goals will inevitably end up being poorly worded and untargeted. You will not have a statement that you can identify with or share with others.
- A truly powerful goal is one that takes account or your ambitions and passions which translate into a powerful purpose. It is not just words, it generates emotions and motivates you to take purposeful action that you don’t want to walk away from.
Turn Resolution into Reality
Resolutions are all about change and transition and powerful goal setting.
For this to work you need:
VALUES – if you are not clear on your values you don’t understand what drives you. This is important because that driving force doesn’t stop, you can’t forget it or put it down without deliberate action. Basically, your values tell you why you plan to do something and provide the motivation to keep going.
BELIEF – this is the greatest stumbling block for many of us and it may take some time to untie all the knots and winding paths it could take you down before you can truly say ‘I am worth it’/‘I deserve this’/’I am capable’. Read about Imposter Syndrome here
PLANNING – without planning you are setting yourself up for failure before you have even started. Change is a journey, and to reach a destination successfully you need to know where you aim to go, how you are going to get there, how long it will take, and what else you might need to know, or have, to be able to complete the journey. Click here to listen to a great TEDx Talk
VISION – seeing is more than just believing. Having a vision enables you to fully experience achieving your goal in full technicolour, with all your senses. You become fully engaged with your New Year’s Resolution and the more you explore it the clearer and more tangible it becomes. This is what turns something from just a nice idea or a dream into a focused and energised intention.
Make it happen
Don’t wait until New Year’s Eve to think about this – start now.
If you don’t have time until after New Year’s Day, start then – it doesn’t matter, the date is just a convenient marker.
Identify what has got in your way before and identify how you can avoid the same traps this time.
Think about all the different ways you might want support to achieve your goals. EG create a plan, enlist the support of a friend, find a coach, join a group, take some training …..
Whatever you do please take your New Year’s Resolutions seriously. Don’t just give them a sideways glance, shine a spotlight on your life and decide what you intend to change next year.