I decided to write about the, so called, Imposter Syndrome because many of my clients bring it up, stating they believing they ‘suffer’ from it.
What is the Imposter Syndrome?
The imposter syndrome affects approximately 70/75% of people, to a greater or lesser extent, and is reflected in feelings of unworthiness, of being a fraud and afraid you will be called out at any minute.
It is usually mentioned in relation to work but is just as relevant to feelings of being not good enough or not deserving in our daily lives and relationships as well.
When we feel this unwarranted sense of insecurity the last thing we want to do is show your vulnerability and lack to the rest of the world, so we keep silent. Thus, perpetuating our isolation and digging ourselves deeper into a lonely hole that consumes massive amounts of energy in order to survive.
But guess what! In our solitude we feel very alone and assume everyone else is full of confidence, fully deserving our recognition and admiration. In reality many of the most successful people on the planet admit to sharing these feelings.
I’ve run a game on everyone, and they’re going to find me out – Maya Angelou
I feel like an involuntary swindler’ – Albert Einstein, thinking his work didn’t deserve as much attention as it has received
The Imposter Syndrome – your foe?
It can seem as though we live in a running battle with ourselves, believing we are not skilled, knowledgeable or good enough. Thinking that we have somehow snuck into our positions in error and are waiting to be unmasked as an imposter and forcibly ejected.
Although this syndrome is not the same as a fear of failure, it can seem to have similar effects. It can cause you to shy away from undertaking something, your projects can stall and brilliant ideas and masterpieces may never be finished or shared.
I don’t need to list all the ways in which you can talk yourself into inactivity or even depression, they are familiar to so many of us.
However, at the same time many of you who identify with these feelings are actually really high achievers, perfectionists and highly successful.
When you do achieve and everyone around you is full of praise, you are winning awards, promotions etc you feel uncomfortable and insecure.
You are robbed of the pleasure because you feel you really don’t deserve the credit.
This can often result in you seeming ungracious when people are heaping praise on you and turn a celebration into an embarrassment.
Yet, you don’t stop putting the effort in and succeeding in your goals.
The Imposter Syndrome – a friend?
The imposter syndrome is very real and I am not saying that we don’t feel the anxiety it brings. But one conscious response I have taught myself is to honour its gift!
What I mean by this is to be genuine and honest in my thanks for whatever recognition I receive. To do otherwise seemes to be an act of hubris – thinking I know so much more than everyone else and that they are mistaken. My belittling of their beliefs (although it is due to my sense of being underserving) seems almost like a passive aggressive act of arrogance.
By learning to honour other people’s reactions to my successes I have learned to turn down the volume and challenge the critical voices that constantly undermined my self-esteem.
Whilst I don’t think the tendency for self-criticism ever goes away it is very useful to be able to reduce its constant intrusion.
See article on mindset https://truecolourscoaching.com/mindset-matters/
In society today we are in a constant state of conceptualised competition, by which I mean our success is not something we can hold and truly measure in the real world. Not like an archer hitting the bullseye which cannot be disputed.
Our skills and competencies are complex and often only judged by outcomes perceived by someone else rather than from our own perspective.
We are also taught that effort equals success. However, some of the most brilliant people also struggle because they cannot measure their brilliance.
The added ingredients that turn knowledge and skill into exceptional outcomes can be instinct/intuition/imagination, and that the strengths being used often come so naturally that they are not given a second thought.
For instance, someone who is naturally friendly will not understand that being able to put other people at ease, and draw them into a conversation, is actually a skill!
Imposter Syndrome – a driving force for success
So, if you are receiving accolades about some brilliant work it might be useful to acknowledge what skills you have demonstrated and to recognise that you are able to utilise these in an extraordinarily effective way.
The saying “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” indicates to me that when you have to dig deep in order to accomplish something challenging, you will be drawing on abilities from your core.
In my experience some of the most effective and hardworking people I have met are driven, in part, by the syndrome.
They would never go into a situation without doing the research, networking to find out more, are constantly learning more and undertaking self-improvement/development, gaining knowledge and qualifications.
Strangely, the majority of us don’t find it stops us but rather catapults us into accepting more challenging situations which perpetuates the doubt/growth cycle.
If you don’t get overwhelmed by the doubts you are probably achieving enormous amounts, even though you don’t see it yourself.
By recognising the voice of your imposter syndrome and challenging its arguments you will become more self-aware – always a good thing.
Learning to develop a sense of objectivity means you can negotiate with this inner critique, accepting some of the accusations but also refuting and debunking others.
Click here to listen to Mike Cannon-Brookes’ Ted Talk on Imposter Syndrome
Finally, it is worth listening because occasionally our lack of a sense of worth can lead us to keep pursuing a course that is no longer what we want. You may find that you are struggling down a path that is taking you towards a goal that is now taking you in the wrong direction – in which case it is time to stop and find a new path.