In order to de-stress your life it is important to identify the causes of stress. Some of the well known stressors such as bereavement, divorce, major health problems and moving home are easy to identify. Whereas the most insidious stress is often something that builds up slowly and lurks in the background. Hidden causes of stress.
One of the things I have found is that I don’t always realise when something I love and enjoy has actually had its day, and it’s time to move on. It is difficult for me to let go of something so comfortable and familiar.
Or, you might be doing the same thing that you have always enjoyed, but circumstances around you have changed.
When I talk to my clients a common cause of stress or dissatisfaction is poor management, or a company take-over leading to a change of culture. Often these clients think they are in the wrong job, whereas it is the right job but the wrong situation- see change or pivot your career
Another reason for overwhelm and stress is the superman/woman feeling, that you have to be able to tackle everything. This may be marginally ok to start will but will build and build until it is just too much.
How is your stress manifesting?
Think about the areas of your life that give you a sense of dissatisfaction. This could come in man forms like fatigue, sickness, loneliness, poor sleep, irritability, inability to focus, unusual procrastination etc.
- Ask yourself how you feel?
- Is this how you used to be?
- What has changed over the last few months/years?
- How you want to feel?
As I have mentioned before, journaling is a great way to peel back the layers and allow your subconscious to point you in the right direction.
It’s never too late!
In a previous article I mentioned that I had reached yet another milestone in my life and was considering making changes to my work/life.
I remember the first time and second times I needed to reconsider my direction. One when I was about 25 and the other at around 38. Both times I thought it was too late to take action. At 25 I felt it would be a waste of everything I had studied for to start again. I not only believed myself but allowed my direction to be dictated by other people who encouraged me to stay where I was. Guess what – over 10 years of being unhappy and dissatisfied.
The second time I knew without a doubt that enough was enough and I had to take action. Mind you that action needed, thought, a lot of introspection, planning and time. It actually took 4 years to gain qualifications and additional experience whilst still working.
Now, 25 years on and I’m there again, feeling I’m at a de-stress your life moment. The difference is that I absolutely know that it is not too late to identify the stressors in my life and change what is not working.
I remember saying at 38 (when I was diagnosed with cancer) ‘if I might only have a few years to live I’m jolly well going to enjoy work rather than hate it’. Well, obviously I didn’t die! But I did start to love my work.
So now another change
I’m still deciding what I love and what I need to change but with regular consideration I know I will be ready to implement any changes I identify, both short- and long-term.
Please make sure you do whatever it takes to consider your current situation. I feel that regular journaling is best, but any way that works for you is good.
I constantly remind clients that the dreaded ‘appraisals’ are actually a great tool to help identify what they have done well (and therefore probably enjoy). Additionally they can help highlight what probably needs to be removed or let go of.
Mostly though, I am writing this article now because it will soon be the turn of the year when we are all reminded to make changes. The problem is that few of us have put aside enough time to considering what we want to change.
If you feel it is time to de-stress your life, start the process now. Think of it as a project with a start date an end date and key milestones within it.
If you can’t start now – why not at the start of the next year. This way you can get your plan well under way over the next few weeks.
If you would like to discuss this or anything else please feel free to contact me.